I was reading my bible last night and this verse just jumped out at me. The verse was James 3:13, "Do you want to be counted as wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what to do:Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts."
And it just hit me. I say that I trust Him. I say that it is all up to Him and I have faith in that. Yet, I'm jealous, mad, hurt, upset, all the things that I shouldn't be. Especially because I trust in Him, to let it happen in HIS time. It's so easy to say that I will trust in Him with my everything. But when I say that, and then let these feelings ruin my day, I'm not really trusting at all. And I want to. I want to be completely okay with everything. But I'm not.
I never knew I was such a jealous person. I hate it. I get so jealous over something so minor. I think that is because I want something that I feel like I should have... and so I shouldn't have to share. But I don't have it. And if God wanted me to have that thing, I would. So now just isn't the time for me. PLUS when I think I deserve something, then I'm being selfish and prideful.
If I would just trust Him like I say I do, I mean REALLY trust in Him, then maybe I wouldn't have to fight these negative emotions. So I'm gonna start walking the talk. What about you?
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