Walk the Talk

I was reading my bible last night and this verse just jumped out at me. The verse was James 3:13, "Do you want to be counted as wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what to do:Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts."

And it just hit me. I say that I trust Him. I say that it is all up to Him and I have faith in that. Yet, I'm jealous, mad, hurt, upset, all the things that I shouldn't be. Especially because I trust in Him, to let it happen in HIS time. It's so easy to say that I will trust in Him with my everything. But when I say that, and then let these feelings ruin my day, I'm not really trusting at all. And I want to. I want to be completely okay with everything. But I'm not.

I never knew I was such a jealous person. I hate it. I get so jealous over something so minor. I think that is because I want something that I feel like I should have... and so I shouldn't have to share. But I don't have it. And if God wanted me to have that thing, I would. So now just isn't the time for me. PLUS when I think I deserve something, then I'm being selfish and prideful.

If I would just trust Him like I say I do, I mean REALLY trust in Him, then maybe I wouldn't have to fight these negative emotions. So I'm gonna start walking the talk. What about you?

Change

I dont think this post will be one train of thought, for my brain is all mixed up right now.

I do not understand life. I do not understand peoples choice's in how they handle life. I wish I did, but it is not my place to understand. I guess it just hurts too much to try to understand it. Maybe I care too much. Maybe I think too much, (which is highly possible).

Why are people so self-centered? Why would you hurt the people you love? There are so many questions that can go unanswered. It just isn't fair. I wish I could see the reasons...

Why would someone be hypocrite? Why would you choose anything or the people who love you?

People change. You never know how much, until you really see the person they have become. I have watched a few of my dear friends change before my eyes. Some for the better, others.... not so much. Its a shame. I hate watching someone say one thing than do another. Or just not give a care about God or friends. I'm not sure which irritates me more...

The worst thing is, you know they were raised better. And they choose to change. To become something that we used to make fun of and detest together. It just breaks my heart.

And what about the people they hurt while they go through this metamorphosis? Do they care? They used to. They used to care a lot. What a shame that they changed...